He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
