toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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