You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Four minutes until I can fart!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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