Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
