All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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