your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
