i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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