I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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