I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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