i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
