i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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