Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
