I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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