K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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