First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize