I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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