I just pynch a tree in the face
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize