There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
