there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
