What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
