we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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