My nipple is on Facebook.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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