Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
