i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Randomize
