Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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