i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
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