You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
