that's an acceptable place to lick
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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