filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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