If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
