SEEEEXXX PLEASE
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
