Well apparently he's into motor boating.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
