if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
