When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize