Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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