I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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