Buhtt sex?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
