I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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