Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
