Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
