I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
