When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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