Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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