hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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