Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
