is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
