AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
