You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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