They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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