WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize