did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Randomize
