Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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