I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
