Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
