dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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