I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
