Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize