It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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